Mr. and Mrs. Robilotto: 2 Years Today....R.I.P. Mom

2 years today, mom passed away. Each year that passes, I like to take a moment to reflect and share with others the memory of my mother. Yesterday I had to attend a funeral for my good friend, Dana's mother. I felt like I was re-living my mother's funeral just one day early...Mrs. Dean's service was at the same funeral, same church, and she is buried only just a few head stones away from my mom; it was all very interesting how that happened. My heart goes out to Dana and I pray that the Lord gives her continued strength. Losing your mother is one of the most difficult things that a person will have to go through. It is a feeling that you will never get use to, but rather learn to accept. I know that my mother is in a wonderful place without any pain and one day I will see her again, in Heaven. I know she continues to watch over me. Below I posted the Uilogy I read at her church service two years ago. I like to re-read it to myself every once in a while to reflect on that day.

Mom,
I would be lying if I said that I never imagined myself standing here today because the truth is I have been preparing myself for this exact moment since Daddy pased away nine years ago. The impact that Daddy's death made on my heart made me realize how much more I would be affected without you in my life. You were the best mother and even sometimes father that I could ever ask for. Every thought, every action, every emotion was devoted to me. From the time I entered this world, your main goal was to raise me as a strong and independant woman so that if anything ever happened to you, I could take care of myself. Not many people would agree with the ways in which you chose to raise me, but I couldn't be more appreciative at this point in my life because my strength and independance are the few things that are holding me together and will enable me to continue my life in the way you would have wanted me to. Honestly, somedays you were not the easiest person to love (not that I have room to talk), but you were stubborn, opinionated and I could always count on you to tell me everyting I didn't want to hear. But your unconditional love was what made our bond unbreakable. You always said that you weren't my frind, you were my mother and the reason I dint' like to hear what you had to say was because it was the truth. Even though I would just roll my eyes because I dint't want to admit that you were right, I was listening. But as much as you tried to keep me from the harms and dangers of the world, I chose to learn everyting the hard way on my own, making my own decisions.
My saddest thought is that you won't physically be here to walk me down the aisle or when I frantically call you asking why my child is crying and how to make it stop, but I know that in every special moment for the rest of my life, you and Daddy wil be there in spirit, watcing proudly and guiding me in my uncertainties. I will miss EVERYTHING about you, but I promise that I will only be sad for a moment because even now I know that you are right here with me and I can still see your freckles that I know you hate and your smile that aways gave me confort. ANd when I hear your voice I will respond with my usual "I know mother, I know." and you will say "you're only saying that so I will stop bugging you," and I will repeat "I know!"
You were the most giving person I ever met, who never expected anything in return. You were a ball of fire that couldn't sit still for more than a minute, there were never enough hours in the day to do everything you needed to do. You were loyal and unselfish, always putting your wants last. When you got sick, I told you that it was a sign from God telling you it was time to rest and let others do for you. Now that you have left this life to watch over us in Heaven, it is time for us to continue your good deeds.
And now I will end this letter with a few phrases of a special song that Daddy use to sing to me and when Daddy died, you continued to sing to me-"Have I told you lately that I love you. Have I told you there's no one else above you. You fill my heart with gladdness, take away all my saddness, ease my troubles that what you do."
Love forever and always,
Heather Marie ("lil' feather")

On Saturday, I visited the cemetary a took a picture of the head stone. I also noticed that someone in my family must have added the "Gomez" on the end of my mother's married name. hmmm....